Desperate: Any Advice

 

Only Children Forums Discussion Forum Desperate: Any Advice

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    Anth

    Hi.

    I’m an only child at 55. I lost mum in March and then 3 weeks later my mum’s brother who I may have been closer to than my father.

    So now there is dad, he is 92 and physically well and living alone. But, he needs me and I have a family and work full time. I cannot always be available.

    I feel like I’m depressed, torn and just feeling guilty…..I knd of dont even know. I feel I have all these competing obligations but in all this there is no time for me.

    I pay all dads bills, am executor to the estate of mum and my uncle, try to see dad twice to three times per week and call him dailty. But he says he’s bored, or all he’s done is watch TV each day and so I feel guuilt or maybe a powerlessness.

    Dad and I were never really close but he now needs me. I have tried to organise home help but he doesn’t want it. I’ve suggested community groups where they take you out for a few hours but he’s not interested.

    As an only child all the burden falls on me. And I feel like I have to plese my wife, my dad, work and it’s just too much. Am I selfish ? Am I just whimping out ? I really am confused and have decided I need to get counselling, there’s no point talking with those who know me because they have a biased view.

    Any advice would really be appreciated.

    Thanks for reading this.

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