Only Child Project General Discussion
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This topic contains 235 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by maalvika 3 years, 8 months ago.
February 17, 2008 at 1:55 pm #217
You can ask questions, post comments and answer other parents’ questions.
February 20, 2008 at 7:04 am #694
Same thing with me. I was so caught up with my career that I forgot all about the ‘biological clock’ ticking very silently.
My mother in laws frequent reminders and sarcastic comments were, as usual, automatically filtered out by my brain like a good old coffee filter. And hen I started noticing that fewer of my friends were calling me, they all were getting busy with raising a family.
We got pregnant after about 4 months. I had planned on getting back to work after my only child Sussie turned 6 months. My MIL had volunteered to take care of her during the day, and my husband went part-time (he has a great job but low paying).
Guess what, after 4 months of Susan’s arrival, my whole world view changed!!!
I worked part-time until she turned 1 and half, then quit the job after giving my employer a year’s notice. Great job though, great company.
My MIL was quite for 2 years and then her reminders for ‘completing’ the family, a companion for my only child Susan, what would happen after ‘our time’?????? all of it started wearing down my husband. He wasn’t too keen on a second, just because he is from a really big family. He doesn’t keep in touch with his brothers (all of them live far away). They don’t get together even for Christmas. He always complained of the strained relationship with his siblings. He is very close to his mother though- he’s a first born. They seem to be more like only children.
The stereotypes don’t seem to apply to him. He remembers his best times as an only child, the brothers came after he turned 8.
All this talk of only child psychology and the pros and cons of having an only child is very subjective. If you put a lens and observe a child, you can see areas of her characteristics that seem to be a spoiled only child.
With time, I started cherishing my time with Sussie, and she remained my only one. I am very happy and content 🙂
The only child myths are just that- myths and only child stereotypes!February 19, 2008 at 8:15 am #692
Excellant review. But too soft on the book me thinks. I read this book in the past.
I felt like a terrible parent as I was reading it. Everything I had done seemed to be the devil’s work. By the time I was done reading the book I was a wreck.
And then I read Sifford’s book, it was like an aspirin for the headache.
My only one Ana is 8 and doing VERY well. No thanks to the 7 sins book. Thanks to Sifford, Dr Spock. And thanks also to the countless websites that support parents of onlies.February 18, 2008 at 11:32 pm #690
A loving Only Child Parent
LOL. A lot of what is written in this article applies to ‘super moms’ and ‘helicopter’ parents! Mom of an only child is easily sucked into playing out these roles 🙁 Well, I did, initially at least.
It was my DH who tactfully pulled me out of this attitude of pushing my child to be #1 (or actually I was trying to make her acheive my dreams, the things I wanted to do or be). Bless you Mark 🙂February 18, 2008 at 10:46 pm #688
Wow! great site- full of articles on only child!!
…well, I don’t agree with a lot of what is said on this site…seems to be very pro only child 😉
One thing I found very interesting in this particular article was where you say that the only child, never having to fight for her toys and space with her siblings, is more comfortable sharing. Only after reading that passage did I find it analytically true.
“Consider this: Unlike in the multi-child family, the only child does not have to fight…… sharing does not mean giving away”
Why I say this is that I observe kids in the playground and I find that girls from multi-sibling families are prone to defend ‘their’ territory and play equipment- even though it is all in a public park-like area. And get this- it is girls who are NOT first-born who do this! The first-borns are more only child like- and the more the spacing between the first and second, the more relaxed is the first-born!
Yes, I do talk to all the new moms in the playground :))) Do they think I am a government census taker??? Maybe they do, ha ha ha……February 18, 2008 at 11:19 am #686
You are so right about raising kids being a full-time job. Maybe thankless sometimes- but sure is getting difficult as time goes on. May be the world is getting more competetive, and we need to have our child(ren) all rady and preapared.
WHen it comes to the oly child, I guess it makes it a little easier for parents. Just imagine, with an only child, you get to spend all the time, all the resources on this only child. And to top it off, you get to spend more time with your spouse- which is what I get to do a lot more than my other friends. My only is 7 years old now, a bubbly boy with a ton of friends. I had to push him in that direction though- a little effort from our side went a long way!
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