Only Child Project General Discussion


Only Children Forums Discussion Forum Only Child Project General Discussion

This topic contains 235 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  maalvika 4 years, 11 months ago.

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    You can ask questions, post comments and answer other parents’ questions.
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    maalvika Here’s a spoken word piece which I think is very insightful on life as an only child!


    Tom Roy

    Ours is an extended only child situation. I am an only child. I’m married to an only child. And we have just the one – our son. An only child.

    This morning, while on my daily walk, I had a sudden urge to try and find a way to create a group of friends, family, crowdsourced strangers who would stand by our son when we were gone. He has no cousins, no uncles, no aunts. Just the lonely world of an only child.

    I was thinking of starting a special interest group online. I thought of trying to track down my cousins who I had lost touch with. Just desperate to establish some connection, some sense of family, of common dna.

    When both my wife and I are gone, and our son is alone, hopefully he’ll be on his own two feet, perhaps an adult, perhaps with his own family, loved ones he had made his very own. But what if…

    Who’s going to be there at his son’s or daughter’s wedding? Not only did we challenge him with being an only child, we were late into parenting. Bleak. Pretty bleak. And sad.

    This is a shout out. On googling ‘only child’ this was one of the first pages I came across, so I am writing in here. We’ll have to future this out as a family of three. Three only children.



    Yeah, I agree JamieIndiana, same thing happened to us. However, no one coming to the hospital to see us and the new baby was kind of a let down. Except for the one guy- my boss. Awesome man.

    We ended up with only one because of secondary infertility, and then gave up.

    Looking back, a good decision to not try fertility stuff.

    We really really enjoy our only child. She is growing into a great young girl- very loving, caring, sharing. Gets along with her friends as well as her teachers (actually, the teachers also like her very much). Breaks all the dumb only child stereotype! idk, maybe its all luck…



    I had my only child, a boy, when we were living in Finland. Cold as hell, and the place had a reputation for people being unfriendly. The pregnancy was unexpected, but it came after he was posted there for a great opportunity.

    Close to the due date, strangers offered help, brought food…people we barely knew! After the baby was born, we had even more food. His office had a baby shower type of thing which was so very nice. They even give you a “Baby Box”, the most useful thing for new parents.
    What I am trying to say is that being in a new place doesn’t stop people from having kids, society has a very soft corner and is joyous about a new baby!!!
    Of course, to answer your question, we did not have a second one because we were so far away from his or my parents, and we found that one was better for the time being. However, that became the norm for us, and we let it slip away. Men don’t seem to care about these things, but maybe some women think about this often. May be I am wrong.


    Iris Florida

    Yes, we moved (actually moved back) stateside, but lost all our friends because of the move (they are in Europe). I have family here, but we are not very close. Besides, some serious sibling fights although we are in our early to mid 30s.

    So we decided one is enough, and good enough!




    Just wondering if anyone decided not to have another child because they moved to a new country and did not have the support system like parents and friends, specifically those who moved to a place where they don’t speak your language.


    Sandra mom of Tyler

    I have been lurking for a while and thought I should drop in a few words. Looks like the trend of having fewer kids is ever increasing, and the statistics on only children being common, or even the norm, is increasing.

    I was filled with worries of having an only child. We have decided no more kids for medical reasons. I cherish my boy, and we are filled with wonder and joy (and sometimes a lot of frustration). Husband doesn’t care about having an Only, and I am coming to terms with it.

    Ironically, the in laws have been more supportive than my own family. If you were at my family gatherings, you will understand what I go through, They are culturally into extended family stuff, while my husband’s side is completely nuclear. Its like going from a rock concert to a classical concert 🙂

    For those mothers with nosey in laws, please remember that they are just people being themselves. Ignore, give funny replies, and move on!!!




    I understand how you must feel. When ever you read a post from me I have to let you know that when I was growing up things were not the same. Jobs were flowing like a water fall. That’s why I sound like I do. You didnot have all these lost jobs,high unemployment we have today everyone had somewhere to go and somewhere to be. Back then it seem like just few.Now it’s every where.



    One thing that comes to mind is,If we were to have another child and then(knock on wood)something happened where it was hard to pay for certain things or the economy was to get worse,Is that fair then to your child to suffer more BC you felt he/she needed a sibling to grow up with????Having one child is less expensive but you really DO have to look at the financial side of this.LIke for our famiy it has been 10 years,things have changed MILK $2.89,GAS $3.64 everything is going higher and who knows when it will stop.I am a stay at home homeschool mother,I can’t go to work(way to long,12 yrs ago)My spot is here at home and we can make that work comfortably with just one child.

    Can you imagine actually having another child and then when they are grown up having nothing to do with each other,IT HAPPENS,My siblings and I can’t stand eachother.I always wonder how my life would be if I were an only child.

    My husband and I are going to make sure that we have enough funds set aside for just incase situations,this will make sure that our son can do what he needs to and everything should be okay,We can’t predict the future so why try to create the what ifs/



    Thank You very much Emilia. Your concern means a lot. Jr.

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