Only Child Project General Discussion


Only Children Forums Discussion Forum Only Child Project General Discussion

This topic contains 235 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  maalvika 2 years, 11 months ago.

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    You can ask questions, post comments and answer other parents’ questions.
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    Does anyone know of any BLOGS or GROUPS(yahoo)that are for us,you know the ones with onlies.
    I would like to have somewhere to talk with you all about lots of things.



    Hello, happy holidays everyone. Sorry, I’ve been lazy and haven’t contributed lately.

    My brother and wife and three kids are going to be coming (were stalled in England due to the bad weather there), so I’m wondering what’s going to happen with all four of the children together.

    I have to say yes, sometimes I get little twinges for another child. But spending time with my niece and nephew (now there’s a second niece from their side of the family) makes me realize that although I love spending time with them, I’m happy to hand them back to their parents at the end of the day. Don’t get me wrong: if anything happened to my brother and sister-in-law, I would take the kids in a heartbeat. But I realize how much work more than one small child at a time would be and that I’m happy with the girl I have.



    I havent heard anyone lately so I thought I would Wish You all a HAppy New YEar!!!!!How did your CHristmas go????We actually had a very nice relaxed Christmas with just the 3 of us.We went to my brother-in-laws and noticed with 4 girls how much he spent onChristmas.We actually was able to spend a little more on SPECIAL items with just haveing one child.BUT with also seeing that whole craziness family thing with all the kids running crazy does make me wonder a little(???about having more)but then I think WHY what is wrong with our family of 3.



    I am slowly starting to think the same thing.This is concerning the $$$$$ it takes to raise another child and the $$$$$ to further education and so on.It is cheaper to have just ONE and we can actually start traveling without the diapers and someone crying.
    I really agree with the comment #199 about the environment and overpopulation.Maybe someone whould tell the Duggar family about that!!!!!!!
    Blessings you all and have a safe Thanksgiving



    To one and only:

    Thank you for sharing. I can not tell you how what you wrote about growing up as an only and your feelings about raising an only mean. All the reasons that you give for having an only child are exactly what my husband and I feel; however, there is always that nagging feeling(or other people’s opinion) that I am failing our daughter on some level without giving her a sibling (or life long partner as my brother likes to call it), but to hear that people who are onlies do grow up and live happy, normal lives is a relief. We are happy with our family of 3 and I can only hope that the happiness we feel will be shared by my daughter and that she will know that we are doing what it best for all (we hope) in the long run. Happy marriage/parents = happy child. I also hope that we will be able to give her more attention, a college education, traveling experiences, etc… since we both work and I can not stay home. I can only hope that the time we do get to spend with her will be more meaningful and she will know that she has my undivided attention whenever possible 🙂

    Thank you again for sharing.



    I am an only child myself and absolutely loved it growing up. I never felt I missed anything except bickering or getting beat up by a sibling (that’s mostly what I saw of multi-kid families and my extended family. I always had what I needed and went to public school where I flourished and eventually got a degree at a top university. I am now happily married with an 18-month only of my own. Sometimes my husband puts the pressure on about having another child, but I am completely content raising my little girl and having a life too. Having an only child means: a more managable life situation in general, including ability to travel sooner and with more ease, a calmer family existence, more finanical means (e.g. only have to save for one college fund, only have to pay once for preschool, can live in a smaller house/apartment, etc.) and most importantly for someone like me, less stress! Let’s face it, in my situation as a stay at home mom I am doing the bulk of the work with the child, and if I feel having an only is best my husband will need to truly think that through and support that, until he can find a way to get me a lot more help. Also, I have a very, very active only and she needs lots of attention (not only for affection but to stay safe) and it is important to be realistic about what I can truly manage. When someone chids me about having an only, I remember also that I am helping the environment and our overpopulation issues as a society and a global citizen by having just one child.
    There is lots more to say, but the bottom line is I have to make the best decision for me and my family-and as someone who is an only child myself with a positive experience I am very happy and content with my decision. Best wishes to all only childrena and parents of only children out there!



    I apologize, Jamie, if I came across abrupt in my last message. I did not mean to offend, and wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. Having children is rarely an easy decision.




    OKAY sorry for the misunderstanding message that I wrote.I am not saying to or not to have another kid for a playmate.I simply understand this situation BC my son is the same way right now.BUT on the other hand I am not for sure if I am totally not finished with having kids.I always have this feeling of being a mother to more children.I am not for sure totally NOR will I ever be for sure.We are not trying yet we are still discussing it.I just am not going tohave another kid for my son to have a sibling/playmate.He has friends and 5 dogs.ALL I AM SAYING IS I AM NEEDING TO FIND ANSWERS SOMEWHERE TO MY OWN QUESTIONS BUT SO FAR I HAVEN’T.Sorry for the confusion in my writing.



    Dear Jamie:

    Thanks for your response. But, it seems like you are contradicting yourselfin your own message. you start out saying don’t have another kid to provide a playmate, but then it seems like that is exactly what you are doing. Maybe you need to take your own advice?? REmember, yes, your son wants a sibiling, but he does realize it will be a baby for sevearl years and not a playmate right? And guess what, that baby will be your responsiblity, not his. So, you have to have this baby because you want it because you will be the one taking care of it and staying up all nigth with it, etc., not him….soemthing I also think about a lot. But, remmeber that this baby will not be a baby forever. So, about 4 to 5 years in he or she will start to be independent and all those wonderful things they get at this age, as I am sure you remember. So keep all of these things in mind before you make such a huge decision. I think that is what makes it so agonizing, is once you have one, you can’t take it back if it’s not working out like a new outfit. They are there for life.




    We all will feel like we are depriving our ONLIES of the playmate BUT we need to find elsewhere to look for that NOT by having another baby that they can’t play with until 5 yrs or so.My son just turned 10 and he is always saying that he is bored by himself and wants a sibling really bad.
    WELL I stopped the pill but now I am wondering if we are really thinking clearly.Hubby says just let it happen BUT I am having doubts WHY WHY WHY he is on bored BUT I am having doubts now.I feel in a way is it worth going through all that again,10 years later,all the baby stuff,no sleep and the $$$$.I feel that I am coming up with reasons to NOT have another baby then there are times that I see babies and want to have more.I AM GOING CRAZY

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