Only Child Project General Discussion

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[marc’s mom]

i read a cheeky comment on another blog site about a mom saying her regular response is something along the lines of, i already did it once and i have the perfect child, why would i need another? babies ARE a gift and a blessing from god, but is god there in the middle of the night when no one’s slept in a week and nothing you’re doing can get the baby to settle? is god there to play with your older, feeling-left-out child while you are focussing on the first? is god gonna pay for college?!? i realize that some people who have a lot more faith than i do, might say that yes, god would provide… well what god has provided ME is the ability to think and reason and come to the conclusion that one child is really the best thing for our family. so maybe i’ll say that to people who ask/tell me different!
i think another thing to keep in mind is that people are really nosy and rude and we shouldn’t HAVE to have an answer for them about how many children we’re having. any of us! the ONLY people it ever matters to and for are those of us in the thick of the family relationship. in my house, it’s the three of us who matter most, and two of us who make the major decisions. and even with only TWO opinions look how long and complicated and drawn out the decision is and although it’s made, make no mistake, i still linger sometimes in the “what-ifs”. so all i’m saying is if we as a family go through this, and other random friends and even strangers want to weigh in … well, they are going to have to take a really low priority. hahaha

[Jamie/Indiana]

marc’s mom
I really agree with you,I am trying to enjoy living in the moment and as a family of 3.I am going to try to ignore those prgnant bellies and the cute baby clothes too!!!!My hubby made a very good point yesterday,our financial spot is growing so good and he will be able to retire when he wants WHY change that with trying to have another baby.So point taken from his view.I am also trying to avoid comments from others like this {{babies are gifts/blessings from god,take it if you can}}Well that is another topic,BC I don’t know really if it is in our future plans at all.How do you know the answer to that??????

[marc’s mom]

i met my new nephew for the first time this past weekend. and it wasn’t nearly as difficult as i suspected it might be. which was a good thing… i didn’t want to be tortured by his presence. LOL i guess one thing i’ve learned is that there really is nothing absolutely nothing like holding your own child. cuz altho i love my little nephew, he’s cute and sweet and small and squidgy, i don’t feel that THING that i felt – still feel!- with my own son. this deep primal urge to nurture and protect and celebrate. so anyways, met the babe, felt good and not overly disturbed by his baby-ness and then my husband and son went to play at the local park and i did some fussing around the house and then leisurely walked up the street to get some groceries … and i was feeling comfortable, and relaxed and fairly casual. and it hit me like a ton of bricks – my life is great! it really really is! i have the best of both worlds, i really do. i would not be doing what i am doing if i were pregnant, or trying to get pregnant, or nursing a newborn. everything would change. it would affect every thing i do in every way. and no, i am no where near willing to let it go, to let all of what i know and am so happy with, be disrupted, for the sake of a child who does not exist. so this is acceptance at the moment, this week. haha … doesn’t mean the longing won’t come back again, but today, right now, it’s waned significantly. i think it’s really about looking IN, focussing on ME and US, and yes, ignoring those lovely round pregnant bellies and avoiding the sweet infant clothes aisle at our favourite stores… looking in, and finding contentment with what i find there.

[Jamie/Indiana]

Well I guess the decision has been made,I called in to refill my birth control.And Yes I hated it,why there of course I see 2 pregnant young moms.I walk by all the baby stuff at Walmart it will eat me up though but hubby and I think it is best for my health and probobly meant to be.

[Emilia Liz]

I think whatever decision we make – getting married, having a child, having a second child, etcetera – we always have some second thoughts. I suppose that’s why I chose not to have a tubal ligation – I wasn’t 100% sure that I would never want another child biologically. However, now that it appears I may be undergoing premature menopause, I’m faced with the dilemma that my ability to bear a child may be nearing an end. But I’m 100% confident that having a child right now, when my daughter is still very dependent on me, would be a disaster for the whole family. And I’m at peace with the idea that I may lose my last chance to another biological child. I’m still open to adoption in the future, even though that’s an unknown, given how hard it is to adopt. But all in all, I’m content with having one child.

[Jamie/Indian]

Yes admin I am getting them to.
I am still going crazy about the whole thing.I had a doctors apt w/OBGYN and we discussed it and she said I need to loose 19 pounds and start prenatle(sp) vitamins.She has dais that we(I) need to let stress go and keep out the people who cause stress.My blood pressure is perfect,but I am concerned about PPD I had it really bad after Zachary and what if I get it again I hated that feeling of being mean and crying and not having anything to do with my baby boy.
Shane and I talked last night and he said to stop worrying and if it happens then it happens if not then it wasn’t meant to be.BUT I am a planner I need to know if we are and get prepared but at the same time I feel that I am talking my way out of it.Make sense to you??????I love our family of 3 I really dopn’t know why I keep having the feeling along with stress about having another baby.
I really am so happy I found you all.

[adminKeymaster]

Thanks for the feedback Marc’s mum and Ciec.
Manika

[Ciec]

Admin –
Yes, I am getting all the new posts and comments. I now just need to find time to make replies.

[marc’s mom]

hi admin,
yes, since my first post the other day, i have been notified of each additional comment, via my email address.
i may be single-handedly trying to boost the conversation! it’s going on in my head, i might as well put it out there to others who can maybe relate!

[adminKeymaster]

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